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Costco Samples

April 1, 2011

I have a rule about shopping hungry.  I don’t do it.  But I found myself in a situation where I desperately needed to go to Costco.  And I was hungry. 

“The samples will save me from overspending!” I thought.

Usually I can count on there being some pretty awesome samples, but Wednesday was not my lucky day.  One lady convinced me to try some kind of green beverage that is supposed to help flush out the “toxins”.

It was bad.  It was very, very bad.  I tried to be polite as she told me, “You can buy it with this $4 off coupon and if you do, that will allow us to keep giving out more samples.”  I wanted to say, “Is there a way I can stop you from giving out the samples?”  I just thanked her and walked away.  Another Costco shopper looked at me and said, “If it tastes good, it’s bad for you.  If tastes bad, it’s good for you.  I like stuff that tastes good.” 

I laughed, “I need something to detoxify my mouth.”  What are these non-specific toxins in our bodies anyway?  Is there any proof that certain products actually flush the “toxins” out?  It was “all natural”.  Are there toxins in nature?  I think there are. 

The wild rice sample was edible, but didn’t quite undo the taste of the vegetable drink.  As I wandered around some more, another lady was handing out “veggie burgers”.  I wondered if they taste at all like hamburgers.  No, of course they don’t.  And with her accent, it sounded like she was saying “veggie boogers”.  I’m eating one and I can hear her repeating, “Veggie booger?  Veggie booger?” 

I cannot confirm or deny that I walked out of Costco with a value pack of candy in addition to diapers, salad, actual hamburgers, milk, white bread (probably toxic), four boxes of cereal, Fiber One bars (you know, to flush out the “toxins”), pasta, extra virgin olive oil, raw unsalted almonds, and some brie.  Wow, they had a sweet deal on brie.

Any of you smart people out there:  Tell me all about toxins with some scientific data or something.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 1, 2011 11:44 pm

    Veggie burgers can be delicious if done right!
    Last time I shopped hungry I ended up buying 4 boxes of Cheez its. Definitely not necessary.

  2. April 2, 2011 9:54 pm

    My sweet wife is all into “natural” stuff, and detoxification, and all that goes along with it. She finds me to be a very resistant person. Find me scientific evidence of this stuff you’re advocating and I’ll believe it, I say, and the only response I get is pretty much some conspiracy theory thing that the food companies are suppressing the truth in order to sell us poison.

    I am not convinced.

  3. April 3, 2011 12:02 am

    I hear ya! There’s this part of me that says, “That’s ridiculous! God made our bodies right! Why would we need to ‘detoxify’?”

    But then I remember the fact that we have toothbrushes and I’m glad we do. They’re kind of necessary.

    But then I think about e-coli outbreaks from spinach, romaine lettuce. Natural things. When has a Snickers bar ever given anyone food poisoning? Probably never.

    Rachael: I will try a veggie burger on a bun with all the fixings just for you. Maybe it will taste better that way. :-D

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