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Feeling Blah

April 15, 2011

There are plenty of good things in my life right now, but it’s really sinking in that my friend is gone.  His daughter’s husband was waiting to hear the results of his CT scan and of course, it took so long they had to wait all weekend and didn’t get the news until they were on vacation that his cancer is still growing and the trial chemo isn’t working.  They still sound very hopeful that another trial will work, which is encouraging, but I find myself crying at random times.

I don’t know how I could ever handle such a thing.  Years ago my bird was egg bound and the vet was pretty sure the egg was infected.  They were going to go in and break the shell up so she could pass it, but he said if it was infected, it would act like a ruptured appendix and kill her.  I sobbed all day waiting for the call.  I couldn’t eat and I could hardly sleep.  Over a bird!  And I couldn’t have been more relieved when she made it through the procedure. 

I just can’t imagine waiting to hear about the prognosis of my husband or one of my children.  I hate it that my friends are going through this.  I’ve distracted myself momentarily while teaching piano or voice and I made dinner for a friend yesterday, but as soon as I was done, I felt so blah.  I haven’t felt like this since my best friend’s mom died of cancer.  I guess it will take some time, but it would help a great deal to hear some good news after my friend’s next round of chemo.

I think I’ll list some good things that happened today.

My 2-year-old daughter asked me , “Can I help you?”

I helped a girl prepare for a solo competition that’s happening tomorrow.  I was able to help her improve her sound dramatically and she looked really excited.  I actually met this girl when she was 2 or 3 and she moved away.  We live in the same area now and it’s so fun visiting with her as a 13-year-old!  We had a lot of fun.

I managed to remember an important date significant to a friend of mine and sent her a nice note.  She really appreciated it.

I made it through another week of mothering three boys who have homework.

I get to plan a birthday celebration for my husband.  I better get on it.  I always try to top what I did the year before.  :)

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