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You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore

August 11, 2011

Maybe that song is cheesy, but sadly it comments on a common problem in marriage.

Flowers are no longer given to a wife just because, but because it’s an obligation on Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, etc.

Husband and wife used to run to greet each other and years later they’re lucky if they get a glance when they walk through the door.

One spouse suggests a date when the kids are at a relative’s house and the response is, “I guess.” and a less than enthusiastic, “I don’t know” when they ask them what they would like to do.  Maybe they would like to see them light up at the phrase, “The kids are gone for the weekend!”

Or maybe you don’t remember the last time you were complimented or had your hard work recognized by your spouse.

Somehow the passion dies and it leaves a husband or wife waiting for the other to make the first move towards rekindling what they once had.  Or maybe one puts forth the effort and it isn’t returned, so they give up.

I talked to a close friend today who is hurt because everything else seems to come first with her husband.  He doesn’t show signs of being excited to spend time with her.  How do you communicate that kind of hurt and achieve what you want – your husband’s genuine desire to be with you?  She fears it will only bring about behavior that is meant to appease her, but isn’t from the heart.  Of course, saying nothing will cause resentment to build until it becomes much more serious.

If we were to ask ourselves, “Would my spouse have married me if I acted then the way I act now?” I wonder what the answer would be for the majority of people.

As I thought about our conversation today, I was reminded of the lady in Fried Green Tomatoes knocking herself out to get her husband’s attention, praise, anything!

Let’s all promise to do something special for our spouses this week.  What are you going to do?

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