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Call at 2:30am

January 22, 2012

When I get a call in the middle of the night, it scares the crap out of me.  I automatically assume that someone I love is dead or injured.  Last night when the phone rang at 2:30am, I flew out of my bed, got an instant charlie horse, and was beyond dismayed to discover it was my toxic friend calling.  My gut told me it wasn’t a life or death situation.  She was just overwhelmed again and wanted to talk about her ongoing crisis, which she had plenty of opportunity to talk about during  normal hours after I called her twice over the last month to ask how she was doing.  I’m not positive, but I think she may have been drinking.  She has never called me at that hour before.  Halfway through her depressed message, she said I was probably sleeping.  Ya think?  My husband didn’t appreciate waking up either.  I couldn’t get back to sleep and I had to get my kids up at 7am to get to church by 8:30.

My sister asked, “What if she had been feeling suicidal?”  That is a hard thing to think about, but if I respond to one call in the middle of the night, how many more will there be?  Am I supposed to believe every time that she might be suicidal?  If one of my best friends called at that hour, I would know for sure that it was urgent and pick up without hesitation.  I could sense that something like this was coming, so this was my opportunity to show her that I have boundaries.  It’s so hard!  I know she is hurting and lonely, but there isn’t anything I can say to make her feel better after she jumped from one bad situation into another.  She needs a friend, but I can’t be her everything when I have a family to take care of.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 23, 2012 2:11 pm

    I think you did the right thing.

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